Even when the event is local, there is a bit of an emotional drop for the next few days. After Up Your Alley this year I’ve been pondering more than normal to distract me away from the chaos at work.
One of the thoughts going through my head this morning is that I have never seemed to fit the stereotypical norm regarding sexuality in the gay community. I have never really felt hypersexual in my day-to-day life. But even amongst the crowds I follow, it more or less seems to be the norm. Events like Up Your Alley, Folsom, and even Pride make me feel kinda awkward afterwords since for me sex is not my primary goal in attending or working them.
Recently this image keeps on making it around.
I think it is a better way to look at things. One’s moods change day-by-day, it is best if you look at it where you live on a normal day. If I had to place myself, I am somewhere around a D5 and E5 in my day-to-day life. But for me to feel hyper-sexual is not a common thing for me. It generally requires that I am in the right mood and right crowd. It is one of the reasons I don’t end up at many sexually charged spaces like bathhouses regularly.
Very rarely do I see someone and go, I want to go pin them down to the ground and breed their ass (or vice versa).
I am thinking it is one of the reasons why I have been getting into more watersports. Since I don’t have that hyper-sexual drive I don’t feel that immediate connection at first. But there is still pleasure in the dominant act of pissing on or in them (I’ll have to post about how I started getting more involved in that another day). But what I am finding is that these acts often provide that initial connection that I need to make that sexual connection, even it if is just a quick fling.
Also being oblivious to people’s reaction doesn’t help. On more than one occasion someone has gotten upset that I didn’t pick up on subtle clues that they wanted to fuck. I think it might be tied in to this.
That’s all for my thoughts this morning.