2017.06.08 – The first few hours of a new suit.

Earlier this week, I found a deal on the Dainese Aero Evo suit that was too hard to pass up as a gear head. So I jumped on it and it arrived this morning. During an all hands call I was listening to, I decided to try and get in. It was an experience getting the suit zipped up the first time. At first I feared that I would have to return it since it was not zipping up. Then I remembered you have to bend over like you are in a full tuck on the bike.

Got one side up, success! Now the other zip was fighting me. After finding some cord to use as a zipper pull, I got the it all zipped up. I was thinking to myself, I really hope this works since the next size up was out of stock and I would have to return and pass up on the deal if it didn’t fit. Next step was to zip up the calf zippers and put my boots on. Somehow I managed to get it on while the chatter of corporate goals and visions continued on in the background.

The sensation of the skin tight leather and armor was just amazing. I knew it would be a tight fit, but I felt like I could take anything that could happen to me. But walking and standing was hard. I know this is an aggressively cut motorcycle race suit, but it really was starting to feel like a bondage experience just trying to move around. But once I sat down and put myself in a position that I would be in on the bike, and it started to feel better.

I know from my other Dainese gear that it will break in a bit and the leather will stretch. The bottom half feels like the Delta Pro pants I bought after losing weight, and those were nearly impossible to get on at first. Now, they fit just perfectly. So my fear in ordering the wrong size was misplaced. Now I just sat around listening in to the corporate chatter while covered in this.

Eventually I decided I needed to make sure things fit with the back protector in, and had to get out. And this is were panic strikes, I didn’t think I could wiggle my way out alone. Uhoh. My left arm is stuck and I am just trying to shake it free. I wish I had a camera running since it must have looked funny, but then my left arm frees up and I am out! I realized I will need to wear some compression gear under it until it breaks in.

Once the call ends, I take care of some odds and ends for work, install the back protector, put on some leggings and a compression shirt, and get back in. It was much easier the second time after spending an hour in it. It was clear that it was starting to mould to my body. At this point I take some selfies. I know, a shock, right?

I head downstairs, setup the camera to take some shots with me on the bike to make sure things fit right when used for it it was meant for. The literal second after my leg was thrown over Matte, everything just hit right and felt natural. Then I put myself in a tuck. Even though this is an aggressive suit, any normal position on my bike was at home for it. While it may be a bondage like experience off the bike, it was worth it. And looking at the selfies of myself, I really felt like me.

Now it is lunch time, so I get out of it, change into jeans, then head out to hunt and kill something. While thinking about it over lunch, it feels like I have gotten both a physical and spiritual second skin. I know over time it will physically form around my body. I can’t explain why, but this piece of gear was already starting to make a spiritual connection with me and I want to explore it more.

I really want to know, what is different about this one piece suit vs my pants and jacket that zip together to form a two piece suit?

Now I can’t wait until Saturday when I am going to ride around the North Bay and break in the suit along Highway 1 and other twisty roads. Let’s start forming these connections close and expand them further. I bought Matte to go explore, I didn’t think it was going to make me start exploring my spiritual side again – that will be a topic of a different post.

I’m feeling really happy – really can’t wait to start forming a connection this weekend.

2017.06.03 – Wondering why I stopped being me for a bit.

Getting back to just being me

There is a part of me wondering why I stopped being myself for a bit. After the fracture, I stopped being myself for a bit and didn’t wear leggings or my other gear out and about as I normally do. Even once I recovered, I noticed I tended to be wearing jeans instead of leggings. Subconsciously, I think this was leading me to a state of disassociation since I no longer felt like who I was.

Last night I said fuck it and let’s get back on track with life. Once I got home and changed out of my leathers I put on the Blackmilk coffee bean leggings and then headed out to Trader Joe’s to grab stuff for dinner. As I was walking up, I was thinking to myself, why was I hiding form the world?

It took me walking past a group of stereotypical hipsters looking all awkward tight skinny jeans, plaid, and the fur hats to realize a big thing. I feel like myself and I am confident dressed the way I am. I never want to be that person who is not comfortable in their own skin, even if it is just walking up the road to grab groceries.

However, Leggings and Motorcycles don’t mix. I’d like to keep my skin intact, thank you very much. It is going to be interesting to see how my wardrobe evolves from here. While I never have issue wearing leather out and about, I did break down and buy a pair of Bull-It SR6 Riding Jeans to avoid looking like a complete alien for short trips around town. On the other hand, I have found walking into a store in a two piece race suit does get you the quickest service.

I just feel like myself again.

2017.06.01 – Distracted

All protected to read my morning emails

Over the past three months I have made a lot of changes to my life. Between buying a motorcycle and fracturing my clavicle, my life has reshaped. And these new experiences are distracting me from other healthy habits that I was starting to form last year. One of the unfortunate things has been that I have not been writing as much, which is something I really didn’t want to drop off.

In the past three months, even with the fact that I not on Matte (the motorcycle) for over a month while the fracture recovered, I put on 4,000 miles on him. As I put on the miles on the bike, I continue to learn more about myself. But getting this on paper has been really hard for me, since I have not been able to come up with the right words to explain the changes and feelings I have. All I know is that I feel more or less myself when on Matte and I arrive at my destination refreshed.

I also stopped taking as many selfies despite my continued weight loss from my diet changes. Part of this has been a crunch for time in my day. But it really started to wane while I was recovering from the fracture. The strange thing is I kept my weight loss on track during that period, and I am down nearly 30 lbs since the beginning of the year.

This brings me to what my goals are for June. I want to get back in the habit of posting gear selfies and thoughts on a regular basis – and today seems like a good way to start it back up. I also want to write down all of the thoughts that I have been failing to get down on paper or online.

Let’s get back on track with the selfies.


Still confused on how I can truly enjoy coffee while in a helmet.

2017.01.17 – This outfit is complete

Being Meta – Selfie of me in gear processing selfies of me in gear.

While I was on a 40 mile bike (bicycle, grr it sucks to have to disambiguate) ride, my new semi-transparent blue catsuit from Invincible Rubber arrived. After I bought all of that Hi-Vis Yellow and Blue MX gear, wearing it over a black catsuit didn’t seem right. So I ordered the Paneled Pouch Front Suit, and I am so glad I did.

I just feel damned sexy in this

To me, this look feels complete. I don’t think there is much more other than some elbow and forearm armor (which I have not found in yellow) to really complete it. While I may be in to other various kinks and fetishes, gear is my primary one. And it always seems that I get interested in the gear and next thing I know, I am actually doing the activity.

I need to get someone to do an outdoor shoot with me in this gear

In this case – it is not a hard stretch to end up getting a dual sport or dirt bike and wearing this out in public. I am already on the path to get a motorcycle, and if I no longer have a car in my garage space, I can easily fit a second motorcycle in it. We will see what happens in the future.

Overall the catsuit fits well – I think next time I need to do a made to measure suit. My shoulders are a bit wider than the standard cut and the sleeves are a tad short (by about a 1-2 cm). But the color! I am in love with this color. It is so saturated yet transparent. Something about it just screams me. Even without the gear on, I think it looks great. There is no way that I can hide wearing this suit or gear – this will draw attention.

Now I need someone to do a photo shoot of me in this out in public somewhere 😉


2017.01.14 – Start of a long weekend

I just wanted to be in gear this morning

Generally I post my thoughts on Facebook, but lately I have been paying less and less attention to it. In a way, Facebook has been taking too much space in my mind and too much time up. With things calming down locally, I uninstalled it from my phone. So far, No earth shattering kaboom and I feel like I need it less and less.

As I look to what I want to do for 2017, I have realized something. The realization might be very self centered, but it is what I need to be happy for myself. I need to make this about me and not others. I am going to be stepping back from a lot of things I have been doing. The only kink/fetish related travel I am going to do this year is Drummer North America. The only reason that is still happening is that I booked it last year and it is mostly planned. I am also stepping back from my involvement with various groups. The type of involvement I do want to have with the community needs to be aligned with my goals and not what others want from me.

I do want to make this clear, I am willing to still help out with photography for various groups. The reason why is that I really do enjoy it and it is my artistic outlet. I still will go ahead and do my Guys in Gear Drinking Coffee series, but that is going to be secondary to my primary goal for the first half of the year.

The theme around my year is to explore California and to rekindle my connection with nature. I moved out here 4 years ago and really haven’t left the bubble of the Bay Area. The reason why is I don’t feel motivated being caged up in a car. When I cycle around, I feel more ambitious. I am in the process of getting my M1 license, the rider course is next weekend, and will be buying a motorcycle sometime in February. With my current job being an mentally undrivable commute for me, I will be ditching the car as well since I am using another form of two wheels, my bicycle, and Caltrain to get to the office.

I guess having a gear fetish makes it easier to justify buying all of the gear I needed first.

Since my new commute involve a lot more cycling – I am quickly noticing that I just don’t want to be caged up. The sunrise was beautiful yesterday morning, but the whole time I was thinking, I much rather be in head to toe in leather two wheeling it or back outside on my bicycle cutting through the fog with my own body.

What I really want to do is just show up to work on Friday with my motorcycle, a small bag with my camera and a few extra t-shirts, and after work just escape the Bay Area and explore all weekend long. I want to get lost around the mountains and find places for taking sunrises and sunsets. I want to find various ponds filled with birds. More importantly, I want to have fun getting there and doing this. My tongue should be hanging when I come down a mountain.

Worrying about my job right now is secondary. There is a lot of uncertainty in what is going on with my employer. When I step back and think about it I keep on seeing opportunity, I just need to see how things play out over the next few months. I will write about the mental mind shift I have been having when I get into my bike kit – this may be one of the healthiest observations I have noticed about my new long commute.

Outside of doing some longer rides on my bicycle this weekend and hosting a play party, I don’t have many plans. I think cleaning up the home office will rise to the top of my list given how messy it is from the second selfie.

On that note – time to make more coffee and start packing the car up with the stuff needed for the party.

New Project – Guys in Gear Drinking Coffee

As I think about 2017 I have made a few decisions. One of them is I am not going to travel as much for these fetish weekends around. They take up a lot of vacation time and I really feel like I may have over did it over the last year. However, I don’t want to stop meeting people. Often I find the time before and after the event to be more socially rewarding to me than the actual event.

I just wanted to be latex clad this morning

One of the projects I have been kicking around is Guys in Gear Drinking Coffee. I am going to start it in 2017. A lot of my travel over the next year is going to be focused on my photography and trying to get reconnected to nature again. But this should not stop me from meeting like minded guys who are into gear.

The goal of this project is to get pictures of guys decked out in full gear enjoying themselves over coffee/tea/etc in public. The location doesn’t have to be a cafe – out at the beach, in nature, or even a more industrial setting is fine. Once I have travel plans confirmed, I will post them up. For now, I am going to start locally in the Bay Area.

Over the next week, I am going to create a page that has full details on this. My goal is not to make money, but rather travel and enjoy the company of gear heads.

My contact info is all up on the contact page (click here).

Watching over the neighborhood on a rainy day

New Gear

You are supposed to read books for the leather book club while in gear, right?

Thanks to Recognition Points at work, I now have an entire new gear outfit for 2017. It is funny how having a gear fetish leads to the next steps. I now have getting my motorcycle license and a dual sport beater bike on my short term life goals for 2017. More pictures of this gear will filter up at some point 🙂

Retail Therapy: Hyperflex Playa Neoprene Hoodie

Retail Therapy Level: Neoprene

I often don’t write about gear I get, but I did tonight.

A few years ago, I got a sleeveless Mr. S red and black neoprene hoodie on sale for a good price. It works out well in the normal world as casual wear and doesn’t draw peoples attention. The problem with it is that it is not very useful outside of the mild weather that we have for 2/3rds of the year. But this started a trend of me having a certain amount of stealth gear that I can wear about town and not draw attention.

About nine months ago, I googled for neoprene hoodies and found the Hyperflex Playa hoodie. Given that it was over 100 bucks, it broke the threshold for an impulse purchase and ended up staying in my wish list on Amazon. At Sidetrack in Chicago, during MIR this year, I saw someone with one. I noticed it while we were chatting and asked to touch it. All that I needed was to touch it and to know that I had to buy one once rainy season kicked into high gear in SF.

Well, it is now rainy season, and I have finally ordered one. Why did I wait so long? Seriously, why did I wait!

Seriously, why did I wait to buy this hoodie?

The fit is a bit oversized, and the manufacturer even states that. But I don’t think I could have safely gone down to a medium. Since it is designed to wear over a wetsuit, the Large is the right fit for me. And after taking some selfies I could see doing just that – I was getting real nice and toasty taking these quick selfies. Given that our winter seems to be on track for being cold and wet, this is exactly what I wanted.

Close up of the texture

But for me, the win is the feel of the neoprene. It is a sharkskin style outer and is just so soft, slick, and tactile. After I opened the box up, I put it on and I could not stop touching myself. In a way, it feels like my sense of touch feels confused. The inside is lined with a fuzzy red lining. I don’t think I ever had a hoodie that pushed all of the right buttons for me.

You’ll probably see more pictures of me with this on throughout rainy season.  Here are some more selfies from that quick shoot I did for now: