2019.02.11 – Feeling inadequate

Making sure I don’t screw up the recipe

Last night something interesting hit me while scrolling through Instagram – even Olympic athletes are not perfect 24×7. His luge suit showed that fold between the waist and hips that you often get when you don’t have that perfect washboard abs. It’s clear that he gained a bit of a gut since the Olympics last year yet, he is still sexy AF. This is when I realized that thirst trapping people with sexy bodies on IG is a very unhealthy habit for myself and many others.

We are living in a culture of perfection and most people are not perfect. Due to social media, the line between good and healthy and perfection is so blurry. I know many people who think I look fantastic. Yet when I compare myself to others on social media, I feel inadequate. And it is hard to stop doing.

Maybe I should make a Just for Fans for this…
Searing my meat!

While I was cooking my meals for the week last night part of me was thinking I should do a Just for Fans or YouTube stream of me cooking and doing meal prep in Spandex and Latex. Yet every time I think about it, I feel inadequate comparing myself to the perfect men on that site and that voice inside of me goes ‘You are not good enough for that’

I am thinking to myself, maybe I should say fuck it and just do it. See if it gains any traction. Get the reactions from people. Additional passive income is never a bad thing. But then the devil on the other side of my shoulder goes ‘Who would want to watch that?’ It’s a mentally destructive cycle. I need to break this cycle.

Showing off the chopped apples!

If I was do start doing some sort of stream or channel of me in spandex meal prepping/cooking what type of food would you want to see? Comment back to me on Twitter @PupShiny with suggestions.

Admiring the pork loin roast before it goes into the slow cooker

2017.06.03 – Wondering why I stopped being me for a bit.

Getting back to just being me

There is a part of me wondering why I stopped being myself for a bit. After the fracture, I stopped being myself for a bit and didn’t wear leggings or my other gear out and about as I normally do. Even once I recovered, I noticed I tended to be wearing jeans instead of leggings. Subconsciously, I think this was leading me to a state of disassociation since I no longer felt like who I was.

Last night I said fuck it and let’s get back on track with life. Once I got home and changed out of my leathers I put on the Blackmilk coffee bean leggings and then headed out to Trader Joe’s to grab stuff for dinner. As I was walking up, I was thinking to myself, why was I hiding form the world?

It took me walking past a group of stereotypical hipsters looking all awkward tight skinny jeans, plaid, and the fur hats to realize a big thing. I feel like myself and I am confident dressed the way I am. I never want to be that person who is not comfortable in their own skin, even if it is just walking up the road to grab groceries.

However, Leggings and Motorcycles don’t mix. I’d like to keep my skin intact, thank you very much. It is going to be interesting to see how my wardrobe evolves from here. While I never have issue wearing leather out and about, I did break down and buy a pair of Bull-It SR6 Riding Jeans to avoid looking like a complete alien for short trips around town. On the other hand, I have found walking into a store in a two piece race suit does get you the quickest service.

I just feel like myself again.

2017.03.20 – Spirits lifting

Two weeks after the fracture – I am feeling more like my shiny self.

I never got around to posting the morning selfies today, but there is always time to do that before the day ends. But the news here should be that I actually wanted to pose and do my morning coffee selfies.

Since fracturing my collarbone – I have been in a funk and have not been feeling well about myself. But over the past week, my spirits have been lifting. I know this is not permanent and I will be back to my normal self shortly.

I am slowly getting around to processing the photos from my trip to San Diego for SD Leather Pride. While I was crippled I had a good time down there. It is interesting to see other communities at work. Maybe sometime over the next year I will spend a few weeks down there, work remotely, and check out what daily life is like. I will say I did enjoy the warm weather.

2017.01.17 – This outfit is complete

Being Meta – Selfie of me in gear processing selfies of me in gear.

While I was on a 40 mile bike (bicycle, grr it sucks to have to disambiguate) ride, my new semi-transparent blue catsuit from Invincible Rubber arrived. After I bought all of that Hi-Vis Yellow and Blue MX gear, wearing it over a black catsuit didn’t seem right. So I ordered the Paneled Pouch Front Suit, and I am so glad I did.

I just feel damned sexy in this

To me, this look feels complete. I don’t think there is much more other than some elbow and forearm armor (which I have not found in yellow) to really complete it. While I may be in to other various kinks and fetishes, gear is my primary one. And it always seems that I get interested in the gear and next thing I know, I am actually doing the activity.

I need to get someone to do an outdoor shoot with me in this gear

In this case – it is not a hard stretch to end up getting a dual sport or dirt bike and wearing this out in public. I am already on the path to get a motorcycle, and if I no longer have a car in my garage space, I can easily fit a second motorcycle in it. We will see what happens in the future.

Overall the catsuit fits well – I think next time I need to do a made to measure suit. My shoulders are a bit wider than the standard cut and the sleeves are a tad short (by about a 1-2 cm). But the color! I am in love with this color. It is so saturated yet transparent. Something about it just screams me. Even without the gear on, I think it looks great. There is no way that I can hide wearing this suit or gear – this will draw attention.

Now I need someone to do a photo shoot of me in this out in public somewhere 😉


2016.09.19 – It’s going to be a long week

It is going to be a long week for me. I am going to JavaOne and Oracle OpenWorld this week. Luckily it is just a short ride on the 38r away from my apartment. But it doesn’t make things any better when this conference collides with SF Leather week. Somehow I will be able to juggle this all.

I’ll be getting the photos up from LeatherWalk over the next few days. I might do them in stages since I have the first part of it done. Also keep an eye out for the Rubbdown promo photos I took – they are very hot.

Watching the sunrise over Lone Mountain while drinking coffee.
Watching the sunrise over Lone Mountain while drinking coffee.